


Who Are You?

by sweetpeaches69



Category: IT - Stephen King
Genre: Alice In Wonderland AU, Eddie is 18, M/M, Sonia Kaspbrak's A+ Parenting, The Movies, a little bit from the video game alice madness returns which i highly recommend, animated and live action, ben is the white rabbit, beverly is the red queen/queen of hearts, bill is the march hare, but in the live action movie shes an adult so, eddie is alice, even though in the book alice is like 7, i tried my best to imitate lewis's writing style maybe i failed maybe i didnt whoops, inspiration comes from the books, mike is the dormouse, munchausens by proxy, pennywise is the cheshire cat, richie is the mad hatter, stan is the dodo bird, the queen of hearts isnt evil in this the cheshire cat is, there will be sexy times later i will add the tags when it comes to that
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-10-23
Updated: 2019-10-23
Packaged: 2020-12-29 01:00:56
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,508
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21146141
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sweetpeaches69/pseuds/sweetpeaches69
Summary: There was a hole in the ground outside. There had been for two days, since Eddie had gotten home from another trip to the hospital. Maybe if it was a gopher hole or something equally small and unassuming, Eddie would not have been able to see it from his bedroom window behind which he was confined. But it was larger than any gopher hole Eddie had ever imagined. I say "imagined" where one might say "seen", for Eddie had never seen a gopher, or any hole associated with such an animal, with his own two eyes. But it was there, nonetheless, right in his own backyard.





	Who Are You?

**Author's Note:**

> Alice in Wonderland is my favorite and reddie is my favorite so why not smoosh em together. This one goes out to you meggy

There was a hole in the ground outside. There had been for two days, since Eddie had gotten home from another trip to the hospital. Maybe if it was a gopher hole or something equally small and unassuming, Eddie would not have been able to see it from his bedroom window behind which he was confined. But it was larger than any gopher hole Eddie had ever imagined. I say "imagined" where one might say "seen", for Eddie had never seen a gopher, or any hole associated with such an animal, with his own two eyes. But it was there, nonetheless, right in his own backyard.

'I guess,' Eddie said to himself, 'That it's a hole for a large gopher, or quite possibly, all gopher holes are that big, and gophers just need a lot more space than I thought."

Just as Eddie was thinking this, a rabbit appeared near the hole. This in itself was not that unusual. What was unusual was the grey sweater it was wearing, and the watch it was looking at.

'Now this is fuckin' weird,' Eddie thought to himself, pressing his face against the glass for a closer look.

The rabbit hopped back and forth in what seemed an almost anxious manner for a few seconds, and then without so much as a moment of hesitation, jumped down into the hole.

Eddie's curiosity was well piqued at this point, and he couldn't help but exit his room and tiptoe downstairs, being his absolute quietest lest he get caught by his mother, who had told him that he needed rest after such an arduous trip to the hospital. And he shuddered to think what she might do if she caught him going outside, where there was pollen and wild animals and sunlight and a world full of things that would harm her Eddie-Bear!

Eddie made it outside without being detected, and slowly made his way to the hole, shielding his eyes from a bright sun that he wasn't used to. He got down on his hands and knees in the dirt in front of the hole -oh, mother would be horrified!- and peered down into the black. When he found that he could not see the bottom, he gripped the edges of the hole with his hands and dipped his face lower, and lower, and lower still. He was just about to sit up and go to drop a rock down it when the ground underneath his hand gave way, and he tumbled head-first into the dark tunnel.

Eddie screamed. He screamed louder and longer than he ever had before in his eighteen years of life, his eyes screwed shut and his limbs flailing. He screamed until his throat was sore and his jaw ached and his voice wavered, and then he screamed some more. When he had finished screaming, he opened his eyes and saw that while he had not finished falling, and still could not see the bottom, there was plenty of other things to look at around him, flashing past as he flew downwards.

There were stairs, and doors, and lots and lots of drawers. There were armchairs that seemed to float in the air, and levitating loveseats. There were lights and lamps that flickered on and off, and a bookcase that must've been a mile tall.

Eddie snagged a book as he fell past, figuring that if he was going to be falling, he might as well come out of the experience a little more educated than he was before.

"A Complete History of Leeches in Medical Practice? Gross!" Eddie made a face that his mother would've certainly reprimanded him for -it'll get stuck that way, you know!- and tossed the book behind him. He was getting tired of falling, and the idea that one could get to a point where falling was boring was one he pondered for a while.

"I guess it's like in the hospital, when they stick my arm with that needle. The first time is awful, and so are the second and third, but after a while, it becomes more of a nuisance than a fear. Oh God, look at me, talking to myself, I've gone batshit. Mommy would take me right back the ER if she knew. She's probably looking for me right now, wondering where I've gone. Well, she'd never come down here, that's for certain. I don't remember the last time she even went into the backyard!

"If she did fall down here, she would hate it. There's no TV for her to watch, she'd be so bored. She'd probably find some way to check my vitals in midair, no fuckin' doubt. Like an aerialist nurse. 'My, Eddie-Bear, your blood pressure is sky-high.' No mommy..." Eddie yawned, "we're the ones who're sky-high..." 

Eddies eyes fluttered closed as he started to fall to sleep. He slipped into dream where he was a circus performer with his mother, but when he was supposed catch her in midair, she was so heavy that she pulled him to the ground instead. He fell on his back with a thud, and the force of it knocked him awake.

Eddie sat up and looked around, groaning. He had finally reached the bottom of the hole, and had fallen into a room with an assortment of doors all around him, each one unique. The ground was checkered linoleum, and there was a glass table next to him. On it was a key attached to a cord. He shakily got to his feet, and grabbed the key, trying it on every door. When none of the doors unlocked, he stamped his foot in annoyance and threw the key back on the table. He whirled around angrily, and a door he hadn't seen before caught his attention. It was with good reason that he hadn't noticed it at first, as it was only a few inches tall.

"Even if the key is for this door, what's the friggin' point? I'd never be able to fit through that tiny thing!" Just as he said this, he saw that there was a bottle on the table that certainly hadn't been there before. It looked very much like the bottles of robotussin that filled one of the shelves of his mother's medicine cabinet, but instead of "Robotussin" on the label, it just said "Drink Me".

"I shouldn't. It could be poison." Even as Eddie told himself this, he found himself unscrewing the top and pouring himself a capful. He downed it in one gulp, eyes widening in surprise at the unexpected flavor. Instead of the medical taste he was expecting, it tasted of the eggnog his father would give him a little sip of at Christmas, back when he was alive.

Eddie hiccuped, and when he did, he shrunk. He hiccuped again, and again he shrunk. Now he was the size of the door, and without even stopping to wonder how in the world he had shrunk with just a capful of medicine, he ran to it, only to realize when he rattled the knob that he had left the key on the table.

"Fucking hell!" He huffed, and tried his best to climb up the leg of the table, even trying to jump up to catch the edge of it, to no avail. "Now what?"

And as he said it, he noticed on the ground under the table, an orange prescription bottle filled with pills. The label directed him to "Take Me" and so, figuring he had nothing left to lose, he took one. As he was only three inches tall, this was somewhat difficult to do.

He immediately started growing back to his normal height, and he grabbed the key, and the bottle of "Drink Me", only, he kept growing. And growing and growing, until his head hit the ceiling and he had to hunch over.

Eddie did not cry very easily as a general rule. A lifetime of being poked and prodded by doctors and his mother had given him a good amount of self-control in that respect, and while he was quick to anger, it had been a while since a tear had escaped his eye. Until now. Staring down at his feet, which seemed miles away, he felt something wet slide down his cheek. He lifted a hand to it, and saw that he was indeed crying. 

And then the dam broke. Eddie was full-on sobbing, his chest heaving as he struggled to breathe through the snot in his nose and the drool in his mouth. His tears fell to the ground, but he was so preoccupied with crying that he didn't notice his tears, which were now ten times the size they used to be, quickly pooling up and covering the ground.

"Please! I don't mean to be rude, but your tears will drown me!"

Eddie opened his eyes, and found that he was looking down at a mouse-like animal that was struggling to stay afloat in the water. Normally, Eddie would never have picked up an animal, wild or domestic, but so much had already happened within the last few hours that Eddie didn't even know if he was still Eddie at all. So he picked up the rodent and held it at eye level. "What are you?"

"I could ask you the same thing, but I won't, because I'm not rude. The question you should be asking is, 'Who are you?'"

"Well, excuse me!" Eddie frowned. "All right then, who are you?"

"I am Mike, and I am a dormouse. Thank you for saving me from drowning, although I would never have had the threat of drowning if you hadn't been crying. Why were you crying, uh...I didn't catch your name..."

"Eddie. Eddie Kaspbrak. I'm sorry you almost drowned, but I've got a right to express my feelings, even if I am several meters tall. Which is the problem. I wasn't always this tall, but I've shrunk and grown and fallen so much today that I can barely remember who I used to be!"

"I'm sorry to hear that." The dormouse patted Eddie's palm reassuringly with his paw. "If you were smaller, I'd take you to the Red Queen. She could probably help you remember, I mean, she's a queen, if she couldn't help I don't know who could. But you wouldn't even fit inside her castle, I'm afraid. And I'm on my way to a wedding, so I really must be going."

Eddie sniffled and nodded. "I mean, I could shrink if I drank this," He held up the bottle, "And if you gave me directions to the Red Queen I'm sure I could find her myself."

"Oh! well then, let's do that!" Mike clapped his paws together. "Now, if you could just set me down on the table, if you open the door all the water will drain out of it, I think."

Eddie nodded again, putting Mike down before going to the tiny door and unlocking it. A difficult task when it was all underwater and the key was scarcely larger than a third of his pinky, but he managed. The water started to rush out of the room, and when it was eventually all gone, Eddie transferred the Dormouse to the ground and took a teensy sip of the Robotuss-ain't, as he had started to refer to it in his head.

Eddie started to hiccup again, shrinking with each one, until he was the same height as Mike. It still wasn't his normal height, but it was better than being smooshed against the ceiling.

Mike led Eddie outside, and the latter gasped as he stepped into the most beautiful garden he had ever seen. Not that he had seen many before, but he bet that this one was certainly more beautiful than the average.

"Do you like it?" Mike beamed at Eddie as they walked down a path side by side. "I help tend to it, although with the way the lilies go on you'd think they did all that growing by themselves, never mind the fact that I planted them myself and water them every day."

"The lilies can talk?"

"Well, they don't say much of substance, but it's almost as hard to get them to shut up than it is to shut up the Hatter."

"What- I mean who, is the Hatter?"

"A very good friend of mine. It's his wedding I'm headed to now."

They came to a split in the path. Both trails left the garden and entered the woods, but they went two different directions. "You'll want to go left," Mike told Eddie, "I myself am going right. To get to the Red Queen, just go left, and then turn left, and then turn left again, then left, and then you're right."

"Left, left, left, left, right?"

"Wrong. Just the four lefts."

"Oh, I must have misunderstood."

"Do you now! I hope you'll return her to Mister Understood! Poor thing, he does miss her so. Don't tell Mister Herso though, it would only ruin him to hear that. See you!" And with that, Mike walked off down the right path.

Eddie stood, stunned for a few moments, before collecting himself and heading down the other trail.

"How on Earth did I get here?" Eddie wondered aloud as he walked. "No, I know how I got here. The problem is, I give myself very good advice, but I never fuckin' follow it! If I hadn't looked down that fucking hole, I wouldn't be here right now. And then I had to drink he mystery liquid, and then take the mystery pill! and now here I am, in a world where lilies and dormice talk, and medicine can make you grow and shrink!"

"If you were me, you could be anywhere," a voice from the trees called.

Eddie looked up. lounging on the branch of a tree there was an orange and white cat, with a bright red nose and a grin full of sharp teeth. 

"And now there's a cat that grins. I must be crazy."

"Oh, you are. Stark raving mad. Absolutely bonkers. But we all are, down here." The cat stretched, and, much to Eddie's amazement, floated off the tree, making himself level with Eddie's head. "Please, don't stop walking on account of me."

Eddie started his trek again, the cat floating beside him. "I've never seen a floating cat before."

"We all float down here. You'll love it. But where are my manners? Pennywise the Cheshire Cat, at your service, Eddie."

"How do you know my name?" Eddie found himself uneasy in Pennywise's presence, and not just because of his cat allergy. There was something sinister about the furry beast.

"The real question is, how do you still know yours? When you've changed so much since this morning, are you still Eddie Kaspbrak?"

"Fuck you!" Eddie frowned and stopped in the middle of his tracks. "You don't fuckin' know me!"

"But I know you're going the wrong way. You're going to the Red Queen, correct?"

"A dormouse told me that this was the way. He said to go left."

" Any way that's not the right way is the wrong way."

"Nobody here makes any sense at all!"

"If you'll just follow me, I can show you the right way." Pennywise floated off the trail and into the woods, looking behind him at Eddie and swishing his tail.

'Now here's one piece of advise I'll stick to,' Eddie thought, 'Don't follow the cat!'

"No thank you. I think I'll stick to the path."

"Suit yourself," The cat seemed to shrug, if cats can shrug at all. But if they can grin and float, why not shrug as well? "I'll be seeing you, Eddie..." And with that, Pennywise started to vanish, all but his grin disappearing, before that to, was gone.

Eddie shuddered, glad to be rid of the cheshire cat. He decided the best course of action was to get as far away from that cat as best he could, so he continued on the path, until he came upon another fork.

"Now what was it that that dormouse said? Left? Right? Wrong? That fucking cat got my brain all fucked up, God damn it! I think it was right? Well, that doesn't seem wrong. Yes, that was it. I'll go right."

So Eddie confidently took the right hand path,

singing to himself a song he had never heard before, but somehow knew. It went: 

_"Will you walk a little faster?" said a whiting to a snail._

_"There's a porpoise close behind us, and he's treading on my_

_tail._

_See how eagerly the lobsters and the turtles all advance!_

_They are waiting on the shingle—will you come and join the_

_dance?_

_Will you, won't you, will you, won't you, will you join the_

_dance?_

_Will you, won't you, will you, won't you, won't you join the_

_dance?_

_"You can really have no notion how delightful it will be_

_When they take us up and throw us, with the lobsters, out to sea!"_

_But the snail replied "Too far, too far!" and gave a look askance—_

_Said he thanked the whiting kindly, but he would not join the_

_dance._

_Would not, could not, would not, could not, would not join the_

_dance._

_Would not, could not, would not, could not, could not join the_

_dance._

_"What matters it how far we go?" his scaly friend replied._

_"There is another shore, you know, upon the other side._

_The further off from England the nearer is to France—_

_Then turn not pale, beloved snail, but come and join the dance._

_Will you, won't you, will you, won't you, will you join the_

_dance?_

_Will you, won't you, will you, won't you, won't you join the_

_dance?_

As Eddie finished his strange song, he saw that he had come upon an odd-looking house. It had two chimneys, shaped like rabbit's ears, and a fur roof. Eddie walked up to the front door and tried the handle, but it was locked. He was getting very tired of locked doors!

There was the sound of laughter and music beyond the cottage, so Eddie went around the back, where there was a very long table with many, many seats, but only three figures occupied it.

One was a rabbit, different than the first rabbit he had seen that day. This one was auburn in color, and a lot thinner than the first. He was wearing a plaid shirt and pouring himself a cup of tea. The second figure, Eddie recognized. It was Mike the Dormouse, who was sitting on the table and working on a piece of toast that was about the same size as he was.

The third was a man. The first human Eddie had seen since his fall down the hole. Eddie had never seen anyone like this man before, though. He was very skinny, and he wore thick glasses. On top of his unruly dark hair was a large top hat, the ribbon around it stuffed with a number of odd assortments. He was grinning, with a cigarette between his buck teeth; Eddie should've been repulsed by him, his mother had told him how disgusting smoking was, but he found himself oddly drawn to the colorfully dressed man. 'That must be the Hatter,' Eddie thought, 'If his hat is any indication.'

"Mike!" Eddie called, and the party of three looked over at him. "I must've made a wrong turn somewhere, unless one of your friends is the Red Queen?"

"Eddie! Lovely to see you again, my dear boy. I'm afraid you must have. But look how you've grown since I last saw you!" Indeed, Eddie had grown back to his original height while he had been walking. "Exercise helps you grow, you know. Come, have a seat, meet my good friends."

Eddie took a seat next to whom he figured was the Hatter, blushing as the man peered at him over his glasses.

"Wot's this then, mate? Lost in the woods, eh?" The man asked him in a ridiculous English accent, taking a drag of his cigarette.

"I may not have a lot of life experience, but that accent is really fuckin' fake," Eddie blurted out before he could stop himself. The Hatter(?) blinked in surprise.

"I-i-introduce us t-to your fr-fr-friend, Mikey," The rabbit stuttered.

"This is Eddie. I met him today. When he was taller than a tree. Then he was as small as me, and now he's as medium as a...what is there that's medium?"

"I went to a sexy medium once. She gave me a boOooOoOoner." The man grinned, obviously proud of himself. 

"This is Richie," Mike sighed, "The Hatter. And this is Bill, the March Hare."

"N-n-nice to meet yuh-you," Bill nodded.

"This is the Hatter's wedding you were talking about?" Eddie looked around. "Where's the bride?"

"Well ya see, Eds," Richie put his feet, which were bare, up on the table, "I'm getting my wedding out of the way now, and I figure I'll find someone after I've taken care of that."

Eddie wrinkled his nose. "That's idiotic. And don't put your feet near where people eat!"

"You shouldn't put what you eat where people can put their feet."

Eddie hardly knew how to respond to that, so he just crossed his arms and chose to focus on the wedding. "who has a wedding before they find a partner?"

"Well how do you do it?" Mike asked, "I got married years before I met Bill, so I was well ready to be with him when we did meet."

"You and Bill are together?" Eddie looked between the March Hare and the dormouse confusedly.

"F-for many y-years now." Bill beamed.

"but he's a dormouse. And you're a rabbit. And you're both boys."

"I-I'm a hare, n-n-not a r-r-r-r-rabbit!"

"Do boys not like boys where you're from?" Richie asked, tilting his head at an almost inhuman angle.

"Well, my mother told me that it's wrong and sick to like boys if I'm a boy. But I'm sick in so many other ways, I guess it doesn't matter."

"Imagine that, sick for being in love! You don't look sick to me, you look virile as a violin!"

"Fit as a fiddle, you mean."

"I never mean, I only nice."

Eddie groaned in exasperation. "You're impossible."

"But I'm here, aren't I? You just need to get in the habit of having impossible thoughts, then, anything seems possible. Why, sometimes, I think as many as six impossible things before breakfast!"

For the second time that day, Eddie found that he was in danger of bursting into tears. "I hate it here! Nobody makes any sense, and it's all so confusing!" He cried, standing up suddenly and stomping off into the woods.

"Eds, wait!" Richie ran to catch up with Eddie, falling into step beside him.

"My name is Eddie. It doesn't make sense to call me Eds when Eddie is already a nickname."

"Who cares about making sense? I certainly don't."

"Well I guess you must not care about people understanding you," Eddie huffed.

"I think you'd be a lot more understood here than at home, Eddie."

Eddie stopped walking. "You don't know what you're talking about. If people understood me here, I'd be as crazy as everyone else here."

"How did you get here, if you're not?"

"I fell down a hole, following a rabbit!"

"Sounds pretty crazy to me, Eds." Richie sat down against a large tree, patting the space next to him.

Eddie sat down next to Richie. "My mom understands that I'm sick. And that I need to be taken care of."

"Why are you ill? Too much treacle?"

"What? no. I'm just sick, I guess. I always have been."

"Do you feel sick?"

"I don't know. I've never felt any other way."

"You should try feeling another way."

"Oh, yeah, sure. I'll just feel another way."

"Good!" Richie clapped his hands together. "Now how does it feel, to feel another way?"

"I was being sarcastic. I don't know how to do that. How would you do it?"

"Well if I were sick, which I'm not. I am mentally and physically very sound-" Richie paused to cough into his fist, then went to light another cigarette, "-and I wanted to try not being sick, I'd do things that sick people don't do. What is something you're not supposed to do because you're sick?"

Eddie thought for a good minute. "Lots of things. Go outside. Run. Kiss. Eat cake. I guess I've already gone outside today. And I ran."

"Then we shall kiss! And then we shall eat cake!" Richie grinned. "A kiss on my wedding day! We really are moving quite fast, Eds."

Eddie tried not to think about how his heart fluttered at the thought of kissing Richie. "I can't kiss you! There are way too many germs in the human mouth! And you're a boy! That wouldn't be right!"

"Just cause it's not the right way doesn't mean it's the wrong way, Eds. But I won't do anything you don't want me to. In fact, I think I'd do anything you wanted me to."

Eddie panicked at the thought of not getting to kiss the man next to him. How weird it was, to panic at the thought of something happening, but panic twice as much at the thought of it not. "I mean. If you think it'll help," Eddie shrugged, his voice not quite casual.

"Close your eyes. Open your nose."

Eddie closed his eyes. "Open my nose?"

"Well you can't stop breathing on account of a kiss! I had a friend who forgot to do so and now? He's forty-two and still living with his mother."

"How are those two related?"

"They're not, really. He's just not very good at life."

"Are you going to kiss me or what?"

In lieu of a response, Eddie felt two chapped but pillowy lips press against his own, then pull away. "How do you feel now?"

"Lightheaded..."

"Did you forget to open your nose?"

"Maybe. Maybe you need to try again."

Richie grinned, leaning in for another kiss, longer this time, but still quite chaste.

When it ended, Richie rested his head on Eddie's shoulder. "I know I feel great right now."

"Do you usually kiss strangers?"

"You're not a stranger, Eds. I've known you since forever, I just hadn't met you until now."

"Why does everyone here say they know me? You've said it, that cheshire cat I met said it..."

"Cheshire cat!" Richie suddenly sat straight up. "You don't mean Pennywise?"

"Yeah. I met him while I was trying to find the Red Queen."

"Well obviously you didn't follow him, because your head is still attached to your shoulders. And it is a good head on your shoulders indeed. Don't trust that cat."

"I didn't. and I don't. He creeped me the fuck out."

"Good, good. Now, I believe I promised you some cake."

"I believe you did."

**Author's Note:**

> tell me what you think. or dont. im not the boss of you.
> 
> some quotes are taken from the books. all poems and songs are by lewis carroll.


End file.
